XAGON SPEAKS MOVIE REVIEW | VALERIAN & THE CITY OF A THOUSAND PLANETS

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Good afternoon ladies and gents, hope you are enjoying your weekend. Today we will be reviewing the French comic turn movie, Valerian & The City Of A Thousand Planets. To be honest before going into this movie I had no idea of what it was. But it stars Dane Dehaan and Cara Delevingne, two young, fresh, up and coming actors. So without further ado, let’s get to it!

PLOT

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The plot of this movie…I literally have no idea. I honestly watched this movie and so much crap happened, but i re-read Wiki and the movie summary and apparently it was clearer than what I saw. So agent Valerian and his partner/girlfriend are assigned to protect a rare specimen that was deemed to be extinct after a race of Aliens were destroyed due to an attack. They must protect this creature with their lives, going against their superiors and fellow soldiers. If they say so.

THE CAST

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The cast consists of Dane DeHaan who plays Agent Valerian, the main “protagonist” of the film. He is the biggest bad-ass in the galaxy and the most feared agent among his rank. Lol okay if the movie says so. Cara Delevingne plays Agent Laureline, the partner/girlfriend/fiancee to Valerian. She is the more vocal and abrasive of the two. The queen of Barbados herself Rihanna plays Bubble. An entertainer/burlesque dancer who is capable of shapeshifting into anyone she sees. Clive Owen plays the Commander Filitt of the force on Alpha. He is the main antagonist of the film and holds a dark secret that changes the face of the force itself. Kris Wu plays Sergeant Neza. He is essentially in this movie to break that Chinese market.

SET-PIECES

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The first set-piece starts out with us seeing why it is called the City with a Thousand Planets due to the astronauts having an Open Door Policy with all nations on Earth coming up then expanding to all other forms of life within space. From the peaceful to the extremely intimidating, no race of species is turned away. The second set-piece comes in the form of the extinction itself. We are introduced to a race of blue aliens who are in joyous celebration for an upcoming event involving a small creature, that is important to the plot. A battle that is occurring in their atmosphere leads to panic amongst the aliens resulting into them sealing themselves in a crashed ship. The princess is left to die on the outside of the ship, but in the process sends her essence to Valerian. The third set-piece occurs when Valerian and Laureline are involved on a mission in a different dimension. The interrupt a black market deal taking place and take the small creature who can multiply any material it consumes. Which would be a very good tool for villains to use.

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The fourth set-piece takes place upon the twos return to the Alpha base they are assigned to protect the Commander in a diplomatic meeting. Ordered to safe guard the creature as well, they take every precaution everything is smooth. The meeting is interrupted by a group of the last remaining blue aliens who kidnap the Commander. Valerian chases after them, but gets lost in one of the restricted zones in the city. Laureline gets some help from a group of bird-like creatures to find him, but ends up getting captured by a different set of aliens they have noo jurisdiction over. Which kinda makes zero sense. The fifth set-piece happens when Valerian needs to rescue Laureline, he goes to a dance bar where he meets Bubble a shapeshifting alien. They rescue Laureline and kills the alien’s King in the process. But no repercussions for the act against diplomacy. The manage to escape from the guards down a drain, but Bubble loses her life.

The sixth set-piece takes place when Valerian and Laureline encounter the surviving blue aliens hiding in their loading dock. The aliens paint the bigger picture of why they are there and that the real villain is their Commander. Valerian takes down Commander Fillit after telling his androids to kill his crew. Valerian engages the androids and destroys them, saving the soldiers that were down in the bunker with them. The final set-piece happens when the blue aliens are given back their creature to fuel their power core to venture back to their home. Commander Fillit is relieved of his rank and arrested, Alpha gets a new and more capable Commander, and Laureline and Valerian get engaged and have sex aboard their ship.

CONCLUSION & RATING

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Honesty this crap was hard to follow. Every once in a while you see a movie with polish and great CGI effects but has no plot. The story is extremely hard to stay interested in. It’s there, I can assure you a plot is there but the movie puts one plot with a different plot with a mini plot. Make up your mind of what you need to show. In addition the consequences in this movie is non-existent and the “couple” we are supposed to care about on a human level aren’t worth liking. They have a very dysfunctional, kinda abusive, relationship. At the end of the day I say this movie out of curiosity and it wasn’t worth it. This movie gets a resounding 1.5 out of 5 from this guy right here.

Guys thank you for checking out our review of Valerian. We appreciate you for your support on just reading our opinions. Please stay tuned for more content and other reviews. Have a great week and take it easy!

 

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