Good Friday to you all ladies and gents, hope today is going great for you. I was listening to the radio yesterday and I came up with a topic for a blog post in regards to Sex and what it means to the Church. I was hearing a discussion on Pro Life & Choice and I found myself digging deep into thought. So without further ado, let’s get it.
SO YOU HAD SEX…OKAY
The conversation was about a young lady/girl who had premarital sex and became pregnant, a result of sex when no safety is implemented. Her school wouldn’t allow her back into the Catholic School which resulted in her finishing her High School career doing home-schooling. The reason I am doing this topic is because the generation of people who are around today are full of sexual tension, curious about how their bodies work, and want to experiment. Now being Catholic myself, the church has a no sex before marriage thing and the use of contraception is not encouraged because they deem sex to be between a husband and wife in the confines of marriage. Now this is the view I grew up with, though I am from the back-end of the 80s and have had a different upbringing. This world we live in has changed so much that sex is now more of a game or a casual thing like going to get gas.
So when I hear that Catholic school kids get pregnant or are having sex, I say to myself that it makes sense. If you are bombarded with sexual images on a daily basis or other elements, it makes sense that teens with their hormones are going to make some off the wall choices for themselves. Most don’t understand the repercussions of sex with Sexual Education in school not going deep enough or dumbing it down to make the kids get the information and what they should do while tempted.
Everything is sexualized from T.V shows and like I said day-to-day life. People, not just kids, are being fed so much that they have a set goal to get laid and use a person for their needs and then just dip. Not knowing the person, caring for the being as a PERSON with emotions but as a utility to scratch an itch. That’s one of the reasons why the image of women and the ideology within men’s minds are skewed. So skewed that men don’t see women more than something they can use and women conflicted with how they should present themselves and conform to the image that’s out their for them.
The messages out there are basically conflicting with porn, social media, and how we interact with each other. Getting a quick fix with instant gratification and disrespect for others is seen as the norm. I regularly go to the mall here on the Treasure Coast and I observe. I see girls/women trying way too hard to look hot, guys who are pretty hungry for some…you know, and just a minefield of people who are focused on their phones. Talking to each other is seen as a task with no Likes, Comments, or reward to boost their ego.
DATING ON THE INTERWEBS
Tinder, an app that plays emphasis on the visual without the knowledge of the person besides the brief things that’s in your info section, is one of the reasons to me dating is a joke to me. Swipe Right or left and get a date sounds good and when I was in college I was curious about it. Turns out I was so ugly that one of my only matches back in 2010 said “Hell No!” to me based on my profile, so I have experience with the ole Tinder. Point is, besides my horrendous image back then, that’s one of the causes dating to me has screwed up. There should be initial interaction, knowledge of the person, a clear understanding there is mutual interest, and boom you have a date leading to a relationship. Not a oh she looks hot or he looks hot, meet up, sleep together for some casual hot sex and then leave. Sex is so casual that its expected for this to happen on nights when you go out. Women know what men are up to and women know what women are up to. Nothing serious but casual.
Bringing back to the young lady from the top. She was young, naive and curious. A generic young female who wants to explore and she may have been in young love but now she has to bare the consequences of that exploration. Not chastising her because I was in her shoes before, but not lucky enough to have done so in High School. That may sound like I was expecting it because I kinda was. Remember when I said you are fed this information. I was too. I moved to the U.S. at 15 and I see girls and more girls. Shapes and sizes i never seen besides movies. I had a thick accent and i didn’t relate to the culture yet…so there was PORN. That’s how I learned about women.
The wrong way absolutely, did it skew my idea of them yes, did i interact with them much not really. I had a good circle of friends who were strangely enough just like me, just different and artsy. I saw them different from how I saw the majority of girls at my school. Things changed for me when I met someone and it changed my view. Went to church more because of her, used my energy in different avenues, and we never had sex that’s the crazy thing. We had such a great relationship that I never thought about sex. I loved her and I gave up porn thanks to her. My mind was taken off the physical and just mellowed out. Which I now take with me today. A good relationship and a positive experience with a great woman who i miss was beneficial to my mental maturity. I could be walking around horny all the time and seeing women as sex objects than people with different wants, needs, and goals.
The young girl should not be chastised for making a mistake millions of kids make on a regular. Being in the Christian faith teaches to forgive and though mistakes will be made our back should not be turned on anyone. Sex itself is an adrenaline rush with intense feelings and movement, but I believe myself it is something to be done with someone a person cares for and trusts. Not saying I agree with teens just going at it like rabbits, but instead if they understand and wait until they both are mature enough to realize shit can go amazingly wrong with a few moments of pleasure and a bit of sperm. A life can change in a snap. No need for pressure, no need to follow a trend if you can think for yourself and run your own race. Personally i lost my virginity at 25 and it was with someone I trusted. Sad based on societal standards and the norm of losing the “hump” in my teens, but because I was ready to do so.
So to close this Real Talk off I just want to say that Sex is a fantastic thing that I see as a bonus to a relationship. It’s not to be expected like rent or a need like food. It’s for reproduction not sole for pleasure, though people do it for that. But stay safe and go with your gut feeling. We shouldn’t slut shame, chastise, or place less value on people who have sex. No need to judge because life is too short for that garbage. Take car everyone.